New Years Eve without Jim

Another day is nearly done and I have accomplished so little. This is another sad day for it is the day Jim was cremated. I cannot imagine our life without him.

We normally have so much fun on New Years eve celebrating the upcoming year with friends. Last year we were at the Schlagels house till after 2 am!! Tonight the kids and I got out of the house and went to the Outback Steakhouse with Carol and Jamie Schrader. A welcome change and time to laugh again and seek solace in our family and friends. I realize though that things will never be the same again without my Jim joking and telling detailed stories as only he did.



Now I am going to backtrack some and continue my saga from yesterday.


I believe I left off when they found an enlarged spleen which caused them to reject Jim's organs for transplant. With that being the case, that opens up new questions and wondering was there something I missed? Did Jim have another medical problem that we were unaware of?

Since they could not harvest organs, it was now necessary to make the arduous decision to stop life support. We had left the hospital for a couple hours to refresh ourselves when our nurse Seth called us back to Jim's bedside. Upon our return, Vale's Mom, Vicky, and my brother Glenn accompanied us as we surrounded the bedside in tears. Each one of the kids said their own goodbye's whispering into Jim's ear and soaking his neck with tears. I clung to Jim's arms and hands and felt the heat of his body as his temperature was now 103.7 and his BP in the 80/40's. The Dopamine was turned off and his heart in sinus tachycardia at 112. He was just a shell of the man I had known and loved all these years. The wonderful, loyal, honest, God fearing father to our 4 children. I stood beside him in disbelief thinking about all the years together, the fabulous memories we made. How could it be that we were here? We had just had that great day in Rocky Mountain Ntl. Park snowshoeing!! As I whispered into his left ear I wept uncontrollably. "Don't leave me." Kissing him on the cheek it was so difficult knowing that his brain was dead but his heart beat so strong. That big ol heart he had for everyone. He gave so much of himself to me, the kids and to those he knew. Jim was a patient man and we balanced each other so well. I continued telling him how much he was loved and my prayer for him. The inevitable came next.

Seth had us leave the room for a few moments as he extubated Jim and turned off the ventilator. We stepped back to his side, hugging, kissing, holding his hands and gently stroking him. The monitor was still on as we watched the last beat of his heart at 7:11 pm on Sunday night December 28th, 2008.

We can only cope by knowing that he is in Heaven with Jesus. Jim is without pain. He is watching over us and will forever be in our hearts and memories.

As the new year approaches I am comforted by so many loved ones and all the supportive letters, e mails, notes, cards, acts of kindness we have been shown. I have a poem to share that seems appropriate as it is 11:50 pm and midnight is near.


When Tomorrow Starts Without Me


When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me
I wished so much you wouldn't cry
The way you do each day
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
And each time you think of me

Please know I miss you too
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand
That an Angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand
And said a place was ready
In Heaven up above
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I truly love
I had so much to live for
So much yet to do
It seemed almost impossible
That I was leaving you
When tomorrow starts without me
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me
I'm right here in your heart.

The hour is here...Larissa and I hug and pray for our journey ahead...The boys and Vale off to spend the last few minutes of 2008 with their friends. They had already wished us a Happy New Year with big bear hugs and love. Now my bed is calling me so..
Happy New Year to all...May 2009 bring you good health and joy! Enjoy every minute of every day with those you love. You never know what tomorrow holds.

God Bless and keep you in His care.

Love, Linda

My Tearful Goodbye

I am trying to get my thoughts collected enough to share with you regarding the last few days of my sweet husbands' life. This is definitely no easy task...but a story I want everyone to know. In many ways it is easier to put into words on the computer, than repeatedly share over the phone or in person. I get choked up and the tears flow easily until it seems my eyes are all dried out. So now here is my story of the love of my life, my dear Jim's' last few days on this earth.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that this would be our last Christmas with Jim. We had a wonderful month from Thanksgiving to December 26th. We did so much together this year. I am so thankful we had 2 Thanksgivings, one early with our kids and friends in our home and one in Lansing Illinois with Jim's Mom and brother. We so enjoyed our visit and loved the fun times we spent laughing and reminiscing about old times and viewing photographs. We even went downtown to Chicago and went to our favorite Pizza eatery, Due's, from our early dating years. Sure brought back a lot of memories!!

During the month of December we had precious times together, going to my hospital Christmas party, Evan's Madrigal Dinner at Silver Creek High School, the Parade of Lights in downtown Longmont, dinners with good friends old and new. We hosted a final Christmas party on the 21st with close friends and lots of laughter. Our Christmas Eve was especially nice. Larissa made a wonderful Christmas eve dinner for us, as I was working at the hospital and had to do some very last minute Christmas shopping. I know....procrastination is my vice. Oh, and chocolate too!! I just didn't have the time this year to shop and we had made a pact that we just weren't spending any money on gifts this year due to the economy and the threat of job layoffs at Seagate. Jim, being true to his word, kept his promise. I broke that agreement though, because I just wanted to give a few things to everyone.

Christmas Eve brought us to 2 church services, at Calvary Bible in Boulder and the annual family tradition to go to the 11 pm service at Lifebridge. They were such great services!! We are always uplifted by worship. Christ is the center of our household. His love and ultimate sacrifice on the cross is the "glue" that has held us together for all these years. We stand knowing He is faithful and just. In Christ alone our hope is found....we have hope for eternal life through HIM. That night as we traveled to and from churches, we loved singing carols in the car and looking at all the Christmas lights. It truly was magical and so special to have those times together. Jim belted out those songs and harmonized with all his heart and soul. You just had to be there. Smiles


Christmas morn was sweet....watching old family videos, opening gifts and cherishing the moments at home with the kids and Elise, Evan's girlfriend of nearly 2 years. We spent the day with Justin and Vale in their new home in Castle Rock having a wonderful Christmas, playing games; Catch Phrase, Whonew, and Scene It. Of course the guys had to get some Guitar Hero in as well. Always guitars enter in when Jim is present! Even "play" guitars.

On the 26th we had a memorable day snowshoeing in Rocky Mountain National Park. This was a first for the family...except Adam, who made sure we were well equipped to handle the trek. I had given the guys aviator bomber hats for Christmas (those last minute purchases) and they all wore them that day. I was concerned that Jim might not handle the elevation or cold due to his cardiac history, but that was totally not a problem!! I was the one huffing and puffing at 10,000 feet (I should've known) and Jim was leading the pack way ahead of us. He loved every minute of our adventure and he took many photos along the way. We all agreed we would be repeat that again soon. It was such a special time, one that I and the kids will never forget!

Saturday the 27th would prove to be the worst day of our lives. Jim woke early showered and packed to go up to Crystal Lakes. He was determined to get some ice fishing in before we left for Florida for a week. You see my Mom's 80th birthday is Jan. 4th and we had planned a party for Mom and my entire family (all 6 siblings and grand kids included) He was a bit hesitant to go to Florida.... again worried about finances. He loves the mountains, and being out in the cold and snow doesn't bother him a bit. I, on the other hand prefer sunny warm beaches. We did compromise though, as soon as he got his opportunity to go up to his beloved Crystal Lake property.

Before he left, he gave me his Christmas present. He said that he was giving everyone an act of service as our gifts. Mine was to hang a kitchen towel bar that Adam had purchased. He got the task done and was off with Adam for a great day of catching trout in a frozen over lake!

Larissa and I had a leisurely day and had set out to now return a few of those last minute gifts I had purchased on Christmas eve. At 4:16 pm I received a call from a panicked Adam. He told us that Dad had fallen on the icy cold lake and was unconscious. He explained that they had spent 30 minutes getting set up in the freezing cold windy weather and after drilling 2 holes, having their buckets (used as their seats) blow away, decided it wasn't worth the effort to stay out there. After Adam made the first trip to return their gear, he looked back on the frozen lake and saw Jim laying face up on the lake downwind of where they had their fishing site and further away from the truck. He couldn't figure out why he was further away instead of heading closer toward the truck. He figures that the stupid bucket was carried away by the wind, Jim tried to run after it to retrieve it and slipped on the ice his feet going out from under him, slamming the back if his head on the unforgiving hard surface of the 18 inch ice with full momentum! The new aviator bomber hat he wore even with fur padding couldn't prevent injury. Jim sustained a 4 inch occipital skull fracture that the coroner said caused his cerebellum to forcefully snap backward then forward. This caused compression of the blood vessels to rupture. Jim was taking Plavix and aspirin for his heart so that contributed to a rapid sub arachnoid hemorrhage. He also had subdural hematomas. Blood filled his brain. A lethal head injury that caused brain death by the time he was admitted to the ER in Loveland. He had no pain, no response to any stimuli, fixed pupils with no cornea reaction. No gag no respirations and was on a ventilator. Adam tried everything he knew to do to help Jim and was very brave. I am so thankful that Adam was there with his best friend and hero. Adam and Jim have a very close bond. They are two peas in a pod! If Adam hadn't gone with Jim, he may have frozen on the ice and we wouldn't have had the time we did have to say our goodbyes. Tears are flowing now.

As we listened to the ER doctor tell us the grim news we sobbed in disbelief. How could Jim be taken from us? Why? So many unanswered questions. The next 24 hours were unreal. He was in Trauma ICU in the Medical Center of the Rockies. A two year old hospital, that recently received a world class level of care designation. And we can attest to that...His two night nurses Hillary and Alana were constantly caring for Jim. watching his vitals, urine output, and caring for us as well. We immediately called our near and dear friends, Gary and Ellen Hamor. Our church pastor JR Masteller was called and he prayed a beautiful prayer via the phone. The counselor Jeanne and Chaplin Art were there to meet our immediate needs.Trying to reach Justin and Vale, who were at a wedding in Highlands Ranch, took a bit of time but they finally were notified and arrived as soon as possible. Before we knew it Jim's room filled with more of our dear friends, Carol Schrader, Kathy York, Virginia and Frank Beggs, Steve and Laurie Hodgson, and all their kids Brie, Chelsea, Brock and his girlfriend Leah, Tracy and Elise Whipkey. We had so many calls to make! All the while prayers were being said by hundreds of people all through the night all over the nation. Praying for a miracle was our foremost hope. We all knew it would take a miracle to help Jim survive. We prayed and prayed and prayed. I was not giving up on my sweetheart of 41 years! I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28....a verse I have claimed for many years. I know God has no limits!


We kept a bedside vigil all night long. At 4am they did another CAT scan of his brain. Then an EEG. As daylight appeared, so did our day nurse Seth. So skilled and thorough with his care. He took meticulous care of Jim all morning as we waited for the neurologist to inform us of the test results. Even though we knew in our minds what the findings would be.... our hearts ached for him to wake up, show some signs of life. ANYTHING!!! Meanwhile friends from all over continued to pour in to his hospital room. Filling it with love and support, hugs and kind words of encouragment through eyes consumed with tears. I can't tell you how much that meant to me and the kids. Our friends are just like family to us, and have been right beside us all the way.


Dr Meredith arrived at 12:30 pm. He delivered the long awaited and dreaded news of the EEG. "No Brain Activity" We were devastated. With EVERYONE crying our eyes out we made the decision to donate his organs. I knew that Jim would want to give the ultimate gift of life. After reviewing the CT scans it was found his spleen was enlarged.

It is getting way too late....and I must get some sleep. This blog will be continued tomorrow.

May God Bless you all and Goodnight. I am forever grateful to everyone. Love and hugs Linda

Dad's last fishing trip

This is my account of the last day I spent with my father, friend, and hero.

We set out from home to go ice fishing and camping up at our lot near Red Feather, CO. Once the truck was loaded up with the supplies, and of course our dog Caisy, we were off. We reached the lake at 3 p.m., unloaded the fishing gear and put on our ice crampons. The weather was pretty harsh with wind gusts pushing 40 mph. We found a nice spot to drill a couple holes about 150 yards from the shoreline. We each drilled a hole through the 18 inch thick ice. After getting situated we soon realized it was too windy to even keep the fishing line in the water. We decided to pack it up and go see some friends. I took a load of things to the truck and left him on the ice where he was gathering up the gear. As I turned around after putting the things in the pickup I saw my dad lying flat on his back out in the middle of the ice. The wind was blowing snow all around him as I ran to him. I came to him and bent over his head and repeatedly ask what happened. I did not move him at first because I didn’t see the accident. At first he was unresponsive but came to in a daze. His eyes were franticly looking around and he was trying to push me away. He was moving his arms and legs so I thought that was a good sign. He even tried to roll over to try and stand but I was able to get him the lay back down. I never got him to respond verbally to me and his eyes never seem to recognize me. I told him we had to get off the ice and I was going to try to pull him. I was only able to move him about 10 yards. At this point he “fell asleep” and began to have trouble breathing. Luckily I had cellular service and called 911 at 3:25 p.m. I explained in as much detail as possible the situation and told the operator we were on the ice. The 911 operator had me make sure his airway was still clear and he could breathe as easily as possible. I was on the line with the operator until I saw one of the first responders around 3:50 pm. She reached me on the ice and had a radio synced with the other rescuers and paramedics. She radioed to everybody to bring crampons or yak trax to walk on the ice. One of the locals who was listening to the radio traffic heard that we needed a blanket and came out on the ice with a sleeping bag. The rescuers were deciding on how to move him and suggested getting a sled to pull him with. The truck with the sled finally arrived. I ran to the shore to help the one fireman carry the sled in the blowing wind. Once we reached the ice the fireman was slipping and getting blown down. I told him to give me the sled and I ran over to my dad sled in hand. Once there the rescuers were deciding on how to lift him onto the sled. I told them to tilt him on to his side and I’ll slide the sled under him. Once my dad was situated on the sled there were no ropes to pull it with. I had to run back to the truck again to get some ropes and tie-downs. All the while the wind chill was 15 below, and Caisy was in the truck sheltered from the outdoors.
There were 3 or 4 guys pulling and I was pushing the sled across the ice. People kept falling because they were unprepared for the ice, so we had to stop and regroup frequently along the way. We finally got him to the waiting ambulance and loaded up around 4:15 p.m. At that point I did all I could do, and he was in the hands of the Lord. I appreciate everybody who showed up to rescue my father. There is no way I could have got him off the ice by myself. It took the ambulance 2 hours to get him transported to the ER. Dad was hypothermic with a temperature of 86 degrees. The ER doctor told us he was not responsive and his brain injury involved a very large bleed into his brain.

My dad was an amazing man and I am blessed for having him as my father. He left this world too early but we know God called him home. We take great comfort in knowing that he knew the Lord and the sacrifice Jesus made for us all. I know I am a better man because of his guidance as a father and friend. I am extremely grateful for everyone’s thoughts and prayers. The outpouring of love is so amazing and we know we are loved. Thank you all!

God bless
Love Adam

Obituary

Obituary – James Hirt
February 5, 1953 – December 28, 2008

James Joseph Hirt of Longmont, Colorado died December 28, 2008 at the Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland, CO. He succumbed to a head injury resulting from a fall on the ice while ice fishing near Red Feather Lakes the day before.

Jim was born on February 5, 1953 in Pittsburgh, PA to Ellen and John Hirt. Raised in Lansing, IL, he graduated from Thorton Fractional South High School in 1971, where he was active in both football and baseball.

Jim married his high school sweetheart, Linda Lee McWilliams on July 24, 1976 in Toledo, OH. They started dating when Linda was just 14 years old. At the time of Jim's death they had been together for 41 years.

Jim started work for the railroad in 1973 as a member of the Bridge and Building crew for Conrail in Toledo, Ohio. Jim was not only an accomplished carpenter, but in 1984 became a certified welder. In 1979, he and Linda moved to Pueblo, CO where he worked for the Santa Fe Railroad until 1989. Jim left the railroad so that he could spend more time with his growing family. He decided to cross train into the high tech industry and learn about electronics. In 1991 he graduated with honors from Technical Trades Institute in Colorado Springs with an Associates Degree in Electronic Engineering Technology. After graduation he started his career with Quantum Corporation (a division of Digital Equipment Corporation) in Colorado Springs, followed by Maxtor Corporation in Longmont, CO and until the time of his death, Jim was an Engineering Support Specialist in the Firmware Test Process Integration Group at Seagate Technology in Longmont, CO.

Jim was a loving and devoted husband and father. Nothing was more important to him than providing for, and showing his love for his family. Jim was a committed follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, and led his family by living his life according to Christ’s teachings. He attended Lifebridge Christian Church for the past 12 years. He actively supported all his children’s endeavors from sports to musical programs. He instilled in his children the values of hard work and honesty, and showed them how to love others unconditionally. Jim loved spending time with his family and friends.

Jim also loved music. Hardly a day would go by without him playing his guitar and singing. Music was his way to unwind after a hard day of work or play. He loved to listen to the radio any time he could. He especially loved listening to classic rock or oldies, which would usually result in him finding his guitar and learning a new riff.

Jim had many other skills and hobbies, including carpentry, landscaping, kayaking, target shooting, fishing, bicycling, photography, riding his street and dirt motorcycles, and camping. “Tinkering in the garage” was one of his favorite pastimes. Jim loved being outdoors, especially in the mountains. But when he couldn’t be in the mountains, he would often spend the early evening hours in his back yard, taking in the sounds and sights of nature.

Jim, and his son Justin, own a piece of property in Crystal Lakes, and he loved spending time there, with the plan to ultimately build a cabin on the property. This location provided a refuge where Jim could use all his skills and hobbies, while at the same time enjoying God’s creation.

Preceding him in death are his father, John Hirt of Lansing, IL.; his niece Sheryl Gayda of Centerville, OH; nephew Kurt Schuette of Newbury, OH.

Surviving are his loving wife Linda, of Longmont; eldest son Justin and his wife Vale of Castle Rock; son Adam, daughter Larissa, and son Evan, all of Longmont; his mother, Ellen Hirt and brother John Hirt, both of Lansing, IL; sister Ellen Gayda and her husband Joe, of Springboro, OH; nephew Joe Gayda and his wife Dawn and their children Joey and Jeni of Springboro, OH.; nephew Tony Gayda and his wife Jackie and their children, Connor and Abbey of Fayetteville, GA.; sister Merlyn and her husband Ron Schuette of Newbury, OH.; nephew Ron Schuette and his wife Andrea and their son Josh of Newbury, OH. Patti Schuette, widow of Kurt and their children, Hannah and Kurt Jr. of Burton, Ohio. Jim leaves behind numerous friends, co-workers and extended family members that he loved very much.

A cremation has been entrusted to Crist Mortuary of Boulder, CO. His ashes will be spread in the springtime upstream of Panhandle Reservoir in Crystal Lakes. In his Last Will and Testament, Jim mused that if anyone wanted to see him, they’d have to drive up there, and just maybe they’d get in a little fishing.

Services will be held on January 10th, at 10 AM at LifeBridge Christian Church located at 10345 Ute Hwy, Longmont, CO 80504.